just ordinary story

hey, do you remember that moment? when we met at our first day? i think you don't get it.
hey, do you remember that moment? when we talked for the first time? do you remember my first question? uhm, i don't think so.
hey, do you remember that moment? the first time you wrote on my wall. do you remember what u wrote? i still read that once a day.
hey, do you remember our first talk? what we talked? what the topic? and how many times we spent in front of our pc? oh i miss that!
hey, do you remember when i told you my story? do you remember what advice u gave to me? oh, that means a lot for me.
hey, do you remember when i feel sad? feel like that day was the end of the world? told you how was my feeling at that moment? oh, i love every words you gave to me.
hey, do you remember when i told you, finally, i was falling in love? do you remember when u asked about that gossip? aah, i feel so lucky to have a friend like you.
hey, do you remember when i asked you what can i do for that boy at that moment? do you remember when you pulled me up when i think i don't have any chance? do you remember what was you saying that can made me feel happier? i'm thanking you.
hey, do you remember when u said u was falling in love too? do you remember how can u told me the story? i'm happy finally you can share your story to me.
hey, do you remember your story about worm? do you remember my reaction? aaah, i hated you for telling me that 'yaks' story, but it was so funny.
hey, do you remember a lot of funny stories you told me? do you remember how many times we shared? do you remember how many words we typed?
do you miss that? ah, i wish. ;)
so sorry for many times you spent with me just to hear my story that maybe you don't wanna know.
is it too late to say maybe it's you?

ps: too drama queen, that's me. ;P

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Time goes by. So fast. And everything just happens out of my control.

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i hate the way u call me, i hate the way u shout me out, i hate the way u wake me up in the morning, i hate the way u tell me when i'm wrong, i hate the way u remind me of something i forgot, i hate the way u say 'no' if i want to do something, i hate the way u say 'bad' for something i love, i hate the way we have an argument, i hate the way u out of our conversation.
i think about it again, and i realize i'm totally wrong.
u know what, i love the way u take care of me, i love the way u say u miss me and the way u love me even it's without any words, i love every single thing u did to me, although i hate it before. i love u. :)

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stop playing around. i'm tired. it's enough. can u just stop it? i need ur help. i cant stop by myself. please, i've tried, but i told u rite, i CANT! please help me. can u just go away? please take ur face away from me! why its must be Y-O-U? why? i want anyone but u. aaaaarrggh.

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saya tau, ini ga adil. tapi bukannya memang hidup terkadang tak memihak pada kita?
saya tau, ini menyakitkan. tapi bukannya memang manusia harus merasakan sakit sebelum bahagia datang?
saya tau, saya jahat. tapi saya hanya berusaha jujur pada diri sendiri.
saya tau, waktunya tidak pas. tapi, mau kapan lagi? saya lelah mengulur waktu.
saya tau, caranya salah. tapi hanya ini yang bisa saya lakukan.

terima kasih, untuk teguran teguran atas sikap saya yang kadang suka kelewat batas.
terima kasih, untuk kata kata manis yang kadang suka kelewat gombal.
terima kasih, untuk kedua telinga yang kamu sediakan untuk mendengar curhat ga penting saya.
terima kasih, untuk saran saran yang kamu berikan setelahnya.
terima kasih, untuk waktu yang saya todong untuk mengantar saya pulang ke bogor atau bahkan ke jatinangor.
terima kasih, untuk sms-sms singkat yang kamu rutin kirimkan.
terima kasih, untuk telefon berjam-jam tengah malam.
terima kasih, untuk segala pengertian atas sikap aku yang kekanakan.
terima kasih, untuk senyum, tawa, bahkan tangis yang kita bagi bersama.
terima kasih, untuk lebih dari 365 hari yang kamu bagi dengan saya.


さようなら. ありがとう. it's enough for us.

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i became a stranger today.
it made me feel weird, hurt, and... uhm tired.
just enough to pretend that we are okey, darling.
there's something wrong with us.
stop acting like we are fine. we TOTALLY not fine.
u sit next to me and no conversation?
and u go away without any words and talking loudly with other and laugh over like u want to say 'i dont wanna talk to u, and with them i can be happy'
aaaaaarggggghhhh, u know what?
i don't even care. but for real, i care.
'coz i dont want the situation to be like this.
did i do something wrooong? with u? DID I???????
just come to me, tell me what u feel, and we try to fix this things up.
case closed, rite?
can we just talk together, sharing about our feelings? u tell me what's wrong with me, and i'll tell u too.
i just want to know what happen next.
i hope it will be better.

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akhirnya, rasa penasaran saya terhapus setelah saya kesampaian menyaksikan CIN(T)A di blitzmegaplex. film ini berkisah tentang Cina, cowok 18 tahun, mahasiswa baru jurusan arsitek bertemu dengan Annisa, senior yang tugas akhirnya ditolak terus, dan ipk cuma 2,1. dari situ, mereka jadi deket, karena Cina membantu Anissa dalam mengerjakan tugas akhirnya.
sepanjang film, saya terkagum dengan dialog-dialognya. seperti dialog Cina yang memasukkan hukum Newton 1: kecantikan berbanding terbalik dengan kepintaran, dan dikoreksi sama Annisa, kalau hukum Newton 1 adalah suatu benda akan bergerak bila ada benda yang mendorongnya untuk bergerak.
ada juga ungkapan Cina yang agak nyentil generasi muda yang suka berkoar-koar mengkritisi pemerintah. 'kita diberi subsidi oleh pemerintah untuk belajar adalah untuk membantu pemerintah' yah kurang lebih gitu dialognya. agak nyindir kegiatan mahasiswa yang sukanya demo-demo terus tapi ga ngasih solusi yang baik untuk pemerintah.
ada juga pertanyaan Annisa yang nempel banget di ingatan saya 'kenapa Allah nyiptain kita beda-beda, kalau Allah cuma pengen disembah dengan satu cara?' dan dijawab sama Cina 'makanya Allah nyiptain cinta, biar yang beda-beda bisa nyatu'.
pengambilan judul juga dirasa pas banget. CIN dimaksudkan CINA, A dimaksudkan Annisa dan ada (T) di tengah tengah mereka dimaksudkan untuk the most unpredictable character. (T) loves Cina and Annisa, but Cina and Annisa can't love each other because the called (T) in different names.
tapi, ada kurangnya sih. backsound yang berlebihan harus beradu dengan suara Annisa yang lembuuuuuut banget terasa ganggu. kadang kita malah baca english subtitle nya aja daripada harus mendengar dialog mereka karena memang terdengar kurang jelas.
film ini seharusnya membuka pandangan kita, kalau Indonesia terdiri dari lebih dari 1 agama. nah, disitu kita dituntut untuk saling menghargai. kalau ga salah ingat, di film ini juga sempat ada suara dari masjid tentang surat Al-Baqarah (kalo salah maaaf banget, kalau ga salah ingat sih gitu) yang intinya, apapun agamanya kalau kita berbuat baik, Tuhan juga ngasih pahala. dari situ kita harus berpikir juga tentang tolerasi antar umat beragama.
adanya kata 'amin?' sebagai penutupan film ini ditunjukkan agar penonton mengambil kesimpulan masing-masing. film ini bukan untuk mengkampanyekan cinta beda agama. Cin(t)a cuma ungkapan dari para crew film ini, dan semua kesimpulan diserahkan untuk yang nonton. dengan ending yang adapun, ga bikin saya berpikir kalau pacaran beda agama tuh disahkan oleh film ini.
kalau saya boleh menarik kesimpulan yang pastinya subjektif, dari film ini saya dapet, Tuhan ngasih kita cinta untuk bisa saling menghargai dan bertoleransi dengan perbedaan yang ada. bukan ngasih cinta untuk menyamakan perbedaan-perbedaan yang ada.
yang pasti menurut saya, kadang ga semua pertanyaan bisa dijelaskan dengan logika. makanya Tuhan ngasih kita hati, perasaan, dan cinta. dan tetap menyerahkan semuanya sama Tuhan, karena GOD is a DIRECTOR.
good luck for u, guys. great movie, i think. :)

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bener kayaknya apa kata orang kalo banyak ketawa, kita bisa tiba-tiba nangis. iya ga sih? saya baru saja mengalami. di satu malam saya tertawa sampai puas bersama kedua teman saya, dan sesaat sebelum tidur, saya mendengar berita yang membuat saya kaget setengah mati. berita yang sebenarnya sulit dipercaya.
ketika saya melihat langsung apa yang diberitakan, ada banyak pertanyaan di benak saya. kenapa? kenapa harus dia lagi? kenapa harus itu yang dia alami? kenapa harus di saat seperti ini? kenapa harus di saat yang sebenarnya pasti terasa berat buat kami? kenapa?
ternyata toh tidak saya saja yang bertanya. ada pertanyaan sinis dari beberapa orang, yang saya yakin tidak sedikit, yang juga ikut bertanya sinis, "mereka lagi" atau "mereka memang berbuat apa sih sampe seperti ini" ada juga yang bilang, "tuh kaaaan," atau "makanyaa...."
hey guys, i just want u to know. we'r not afraid. maybe u can judge with ur words, but 1 think u have to know, ur words are RUBBISH. i think u have to keep ur words, and please DON'T TALK.
no no, i'm not afraid, i'm not sad, NO WAY! u CAN'T make me feel that things. saya hanya merasa itu sia-sia. u better learn how to talk with other people, specially in moment like this.
huaaaaa, terlalu emosional jadinya.
by the way, saya menganggap ini cobaan, dan saya selalu percaya tidak ada cobaan yang tidak bisa dilewati oleh umatNya. saya percaya kalau orang mau bangkit harus jatuh dulu, kalau pelangi ada setelah hujan turun, kalau matahari pagi terang terbit setelah malam sudah berlalu, dan saya percaya Dia pasti menyimpan sejuta keindahan di balik ini semua.
and one thing, God works in mysterious ways.



nb: to all my family, be tough. God always has a big plan for us.

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i hate this part, when i feel so sensitive like this.

have u ever feel like this?
when you can spend everything with them in one moment, then wooooof, they can also disappear from you.

have u ever feel like this?
when u can walk together with them in one moment, then wooooof, in the other times, they don't need you again, folks.

have u ever feel like this?
when u can take a picture together with them in one moment, then woooof, u can see the picture now, is WITHOUT YOU.

have u ever feel like this?
when u miss them, and then u call them, u ask for a walk, and.... u have to be rejected? and wooooof, they walk together. and sorry to say. it's WITHOUT YOU, honey.

have u ever feel like that?
something that i feel for this few times.
when i see they can smile, laugh, even they can walk away from me.

i miss you, all. (maybe?)


ps: or maybe, i have to realize, that it's only like a rose. starts out with a small bud, blooms into a beautiful flower, but eventually, woooooof, it dies, isn't it?

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demam BOYS BEFORE FLOWER masih melanda nih. dan saya lagi jatuh cinta sama lagu ini.

T-MAX - Wish U're My Love

ado naleul jal moleu gessuh
nega iluljool mollassuh
danghwangseuleh joshimseuleh
jaggoo nuhman booleuh janah

ilun neh mameul dageu chyuhdo niga neh gyutcheul seuchimyun
ddo geuluhkeh ooseumyuh nan amoo gutdo mot heh
sarangi anilago nehga malligo miluh neh bwado
honjasuh ootgo itgo ilun naleul uhdduhkeh heh

i wish you're my love
ijen negehlo wa yo
nado moleugeh sulleh ineh ohneuldo nan iluhkeh nan
ni appeh suhsungijiman sarang ggok malheh ya anayo
iluhkeh wonhago itneundeh youngwoneul yaksokhal dan han saram
geudeh janayo


ajik sarangeh suhtoolgodo
hokshi neh maeumi deullimyun
ddo mi anheh daleumyun
nal hyanghehsuh oosuhjwo
nuh eh geh gobek halyuh joonbihan
bamsewuh senggakhan maldeul
gyulgook ni apeh suhmyun amoo maldo mot hago


i wish you're my love
ijen negehlo wa yo
nado moleugeh sulleh ineh ohneuldo nan iluhkeh nan
ni appeh suhsungijiman sarang ggok malheh ya anayo
iluhkeh wonhago itneundeh youngwoneul yaksokhal dan han saram
geudeh janayo

i mameul neuggyuh bwa
nuh maneul balaneun
na eh sarang eul.. woah~

i wish you're my love
ijeh oori sarang heyo
say goodbye
nuhleul sokil soo ubssuhyo
ijen naleul huh lak heyo yonggi neh ohneul gatdolok
geudehdo neh mamgwa gatdamyun nehga wonhago itdamyun
neh gehlo wajoyo ijeh oori shijakheh bwayo

dan saya sudah mencari artinya:

i don't know myself very well either
i didn't know that i would be like this
flustered, carefully, i keep calling only you

even if you urge my heart like this, if you brush by my side
and laugh like that, i can't do anything
no matter how many times i tell myself it's not love
i laugh by myself.. what am i supposed to do with myself

i wish you're my love.
come to me now
i get excited with me knowing it
i'm like this today too
even though i'm just a lucky star to you,
must i really say it's love for you to know
i long for it this much..
the person that i'll promise with forever
is you

although my love is still awkward.. if by any chance you can hear my heart
if it's different from "i'm sorry", give me a smile
the words that i stayed up all night preparing to confess to you
don't come out when i'm standing in front of you

i wish you're my love.
come to me now
i get excited with me knowing it
i'm like this today too
even though i'm just a lucky star to you,
must i really say it's love for you to know
i long for it this much..
the person that i'll promise with forever
is you

feel this heart of mine
that longs for only you
my love.. woah~

i wish you're my love. let's love now
say goodbye. i can't deceive you
now give me permission, so i can gather courage today
if your heart is the same as mine, if you want me
please come to me. let's start together now.

hua, pas banget untuk momen mengkhayal ;)

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