just ordinary story

hey, God.
i know, maybe u know me well, better than what i know myself.
God, you know, right? that i've been trying so hard to solve this little problem.
i know, God. it might be my fault. how was it begin, and how was it grow.
i know, u gave me a warning sign, but i just throw it far.
God, u know that i've been trying.
i try so hard to erase the memories behind.
i try.
but, i don't know why, harder i try, the memory just easier flying around my mind.
dear God, i want this memories just go away. but it's hard for sure.
i'm tired, dear God.
i'm tired.
everyone just talk all about me. and just remind me again and again.
i know, they don't even know whats goin on inside.
i can say, i will forget.
but for real, it ways so hard, God.
it's hard.
i have to play with the memories around, and the pain i feel inside.
they can it's easy. but for me, this is the hardest part.
dear God, you know what i feel inside. what i've been hiding for a long time.
please, if this is wrong, just make it right.
could you help me to forget about it?
i cant do by myself, dear God.

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Kenapa ya, susah sekali berpuas diri?
Kenapa ya, susah sekali untuk bersyukur?
Mau yang ini, dikasih yang ini, malah minta yang itu, udah dikasih yang itu, lalu minta yang ini lagi, begitu terus ga puas-puas.

Minta ini, dikasih ini, kadang malah suka menggerutu, ga cocok lah, apa lah.
Terus minta yang lain lagi, udah dikasih yang lain, ga taunya menggerutu lagi, nyesel, kenapa ga yang kemaren.
Gitu-gitu aja.

Kenapa yah, manusia tuh ga pernah puas?
Kenapa yah, saya suka luput buat bersyukur?
Saya minta 'the right time' sama Tuhan, udah dikasih, nah saya minta lagi yang lain.
Padahal kalau diingat, saya cuma minta 'the right time' itu di tiap doa saya, saya ga minta yang lain itu.

Nanti malam saya pasti ngadu sama Tuhan, minta yang lain lagi. Terus aja begitu.
Tuhan capek ga yah, dengerin keluh kesah saya? Ngeliat saya menggerutu melulu.
Tuhan capek ga yah meladeni permintaan-permintaan saya?
Tuhan ga capek kan?
Jangan capek yah, Tuhan.
Saya cuma anak kecil yang percaya mintalah maka akan diberikan, iya kan Tuhan?

Jangan lelah ya, Tuhan.
Saya percaya, God is on his way to give the best for me.
And He gives me in the right time, in His time.
And it ways so hard to predict when.
I'm hanging on You, dear God. :)

Makasih ya, Tuhan buat 'the right time' yang udah dikasih. Saya bersyukur kok, walau pasti ada rentetan permintaan yang lain. Hehe.
Jangan bosan, Tuhan. :)

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

at one night, when i went back to Bogor, sit next the window in the Bus, i switched on my iPod, made it shuffle, and how lucky i am, my iPod brought this song for me. and made me feel so, uhm what can i say? peaceful, maybe?

Banyak perkara yang tak dapat kumengerti
Mengapakah harus terjadi di dalam kehidupan ini
Satu perkara yang kusimpan di dalam hati
Tiada sesuatupun kan terjadi tanpa Allah peduli

Allah mengerti, Allah peduli
Segala persoalan yang kita hadapi
Tak akan pernah dibiarkanNya
Ku bergumul sendiri sbab Allah mengerti

when i heard that song, finally, im crying. no, its not because im sad. its only because, i feel so guilty.
the problem i have been thinkin of was really, oh my God, maybe it can be called with problem? i forgot about everything He had been sent to me. a thousand chances He gave me to feel the morning, to see the sun, to close or even to open my eyes. not only that, He sent me to a really good family, i have an awesome mom, a cool dad, superduper fun siblings, and a warm big family.
He gave me a lot of nicest friend ever! to share my problem, to give me a shoulder to cry, and even to give me a lot of bad words for waking me up from my long dream.
hey, He's caring you as much, Gita. what else you can ask for more?

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Dear my bestfriends,
I love when u asked my opinion about ur clothes, I love when u asked me about ur dreamboy, I love when u shared ur problem with me, I love when u heard my advice, I love when u did what I say, I love when u got my shoulder to cry,
I love when u said I'm bad, because I know, u want me to be better. I love when u said my clothes is not match, because I know u want to see me prettier. I love when u didn't stop me when I'm crying, because I know u want to let my emotion out. I love when u said the boys are bad, because yes, they are bad. I love when u said I'm stupid, because yes, sometimes I'm going stupid. I love when u said "he's out of ur list" because yes, I deserve better. I love when u talking bad about the one I love because I know u want to open my eyes. I love when u say 'no way' when I ask u something, because I know, u'll do that for me. I love when u didn't say anything when I shared my problem, because u know, that's the time u became a listener. I love when we had an argument, because after that, we're totally fine with that. I love ur bad words when I call for an advice, because I really need that. I love all of ur habbits, ur bad and ur good. And I hope u will love everything in me.
Thank for sharing everything with me, thanks for every single word u said to me, thanks for ur support when I'm down, thanks for became my best listener, thanks for spying my dreamboy, thank for opening my eyes, thanks for every single moment that we have.
So, we are TRUE BESTfriend rite?


ps: pardon my english ;)

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Maybe it's just like another friday. But for me, this is the most beautiful friday night ever.
How we spend our friday night, -or maybe how I spend my friday night-?
How we type many much words, -or maybe how I type many much words-?
How we share our stories, -or maybe how I share my stories-?
hey, do you know how I spent my days just wait and look in to my yahoo messenger?
Hey do you know how I ask all my best just to made some words to start the conversation?
And do you know how happy I am when u replied?
Do you know how blushing I am when u asked why I'm not going to bed?
Do you know how fast my heart beating and how hard I just try to make my heart going slower?
Do you know? Do you notice? Do you want to know?
Do you know what? When I woke up at the end of october I was confuse, is that happened last friday, or maybe that just happened in my dream?
If that was JUST a dream, it would be the sweetest dream ever.

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

hey, do you remember that moment? when we met at our first day? i think you don't get it.
hey, do you remember that moment? when we talked for the first time? do you remember my first question? uhm, i don't think so.
hey, do you remember that moment? the first time you wrote on my wall. do you remember what u wrote? i still read that once a day.
hey, do you remember our first talk? what we talked? what the topic? and how many times we spent in front of our pc? oh i miss that!
hey, do you remember when i told you my story? do you remember what advice u gave to me? oh, that means a lot for me.
hey, do you remember when i feel sad? feel like that day was the end of the world? told you how was my feeling at that moment? oh, i love every words you gave to me.
hey, do you remember when i told you, finally, i was falling in love? do you remember when u asked about that gossip? aah, i feel so lucky to have a friend like you.
hey, do you remember when i asked you what can i do for that boy at that moment? do you remember when you pulled me up when i think i don't have any chance? do you remember what was you saying that can made me feel happier? i'm thanking you.
hey, do you remember when u said u was falling in love too? do you remember how can u told me the story? i'm happy finally you can share your story to me.
hey, do you remember your story about worm? do you remember my reaction? aaah, i hated you for telling me that 'yaks' story, but it was so funny.
hey, do you remember a lot of funny stories you told me? do you remember how many times we shared? do you remember how many words we typed?
do you miss that? ah, i wish. ;)
so sorry for many times you spent with me just to hear my story that maybe you don't wanna know.
is it too late to say maybe it's you?

ps: too drama queen, that's me. ;P

• 
• 
• 
• 
•